Water, water

Do you know which horror movies I hate the most? Not the ones with a lot of zombies and gore. I can stand that. It's the quiet ones that get me, where there are a lot of little things and then something weird. Do you know the ones I mean? A woman sees a bee in her house, then she sees another bee, then she opens a closet door and a SWARM OF HORRIFYING INSECTS buzz out and devour her.

For the past few days, my life has been a little bit like one of those horror movies.

It started last night, when I went to turn the radiator on in Lulu's room and found it was leaking. There were a few drops of water running down from the knob onto the floor. I wiped it up and thought nothing of it--it's an old building. But a few hours later, I went to turn on the bathroom radiator--same thing. Only more water, and I couldn't stop it. When James came home from band practice, I met him frantically at the door ("HE LEAKIN CALL AMBERLAMPS.") He spent a few minutes fiddling around with his wrench or ratchet or whatever--I don't do tools. But anyway: problem solved.

Until this morning, when I padded into the kitchen for coffee and stood for a full 30 seconds wondering why my socks were moist. Such an unpleasant feeling. What could be causing it? Oh--you know--just the huge pile of spreading water on the floor, coming from both the dishwasher AND the washing machine, both of which are turned OFF, by the way. Mop it up, check everything, no discernible problem.

Strange. Especially now that my windows are doing this:


Dripping with water. From the inside.

I suppose that it is possible that my condo was built on an ancient burial ground. But honestly, I think what's really going on is that we're being haunted by the ghost of the old Republican lady who used to live here. Probably because I throw away her newsletters from the Catholic League and the NRA and the Ronald Reagan appreciation society. Or maybe because I KEEP her Bed, Bath, and Beyond 20% off coupons. I don't know.

Either way, I'm sorry, Geraldine! For whatever I have done to offend you.



Yes, I am! Please don't hold my political views against me! Underneath, I am sure we are a lot alike! We need to hammer out the differences between us. If I had a hammer, I'd swing it in the morning, I'd swing it in the evening, all over this la-a...


And take that impertinent Rachel Maddow right along with you!