The first book we got was Squanto's Journey: The Story of the First Thanksgiving, and I was really expecting this to be the more harrowing of the two, filled as it must be with racial hatred, smallpox, and domination of a peaceful people by the vicious white man.
But it was actually pretty tame. It turns out I should have been more worried about the other book I picked up.
Sometimes It's Turkey, Sometimes It's Feathers. Featuring charming line drawings of a Depression era 99-percenter and filled with wholesome do-it-yourselfism and make-do-ness!
The story centers around one Mrs. Gumm. In April, she finds a turkey egg in the grass. She takes it home, delighted with her find and shows it to her cat.
In May, the egg hatches. Mrs. Gumm and Cat are delighted with their new, adorable baby turkey.
By July, things have taken a rather shocking turn.
They're going to fucking EAT HIM, y'all.
The months swirl by. Mrs. Gumm is practically licking her lips. And then, November comes.
Mrs. Gumm makes her cornbread and stuffing and then she goes out to "prepare" the turkey.
WITH A FUCKING HATCHET.
And I'm sitting here with my child squirming on my lap and I am so glad she is preverbal, and really hoping there's not some secret part of her brain that's going to lock this terrible story away to later inform her entire existence and worldview. Like, in 20 years, will she be eating Zoloft by the handful and weeping in the throes of an inexplicable depression because of this horrible grisly BOOK?
But who am I to abandon a story in the middle of a narrative? I mean, I have read Philippa Gregory's entire oeuvre. So I turn to the next page...
And it's a story about friendship! It was all along! They aren't eating the turkey at all! He's sitting at the table, wearing a bib, and Mrs. Gumm is so grateful for her two friends, and I guess she just had to take that FRESHLY SHARPENED hatchet outside to chop some wood or something because look! Happiness and gratitude and friendship abound.
It turns out Mrs. Gumm was just kind of lonely! I feel kind of bad for thinking she was a cold-blooded killer.
OH WAIT NEVERMIND.
I'm going to go write some Sometimes It's Feathers fanfic now. I'm writing it from the POV of the turkey. And I'm calling it "In December...REVENGE."
Have you read The Jolly Barnyard? It's Good Farmer Brown's birthday, and the animals are all talking about how to help him celebrate. The cow will give milk, the chickens eggs, the pony pull the cart ... and then there's the turkey.
ReplyDeleteSaid the turkey "As best as I am able, I'll help decorate his Thanksgiving table!"
SUICIDAL TURKEY. Self-sacrifice as a Thanksgiving feast for a BIRTHDAY PRESENT.
I choke a little every time we read that story to the littles.
On the one hand, I see why it's disturbing. On the other though, I know that my own grandparents had to do similar things to put food on the table, especially during the Depression. While Lulu is a little young to have to know these truths, they still exist. I have an uncle who raises quail as a hobby and side business, and we had quail at Christmas last year.
ReplyDeleteI doubt that she'll be popping Zoloft because of this. Especially if you let her watch The Yearling of Old Yeller some day.
I am glad it turned out to be about friendship though. It seems the author was messing with people's heads a little bit.
Or the Velveteen Rabbit. Worst. ever.
ReplyDeleteI still think Old Mrs. Gumm is planning to eat the turkey...just not until next year, until he's BIGGER and PLUMPER.
Don't forget Charlotte's Web. It's all about saving poor Wilbur from the butcher block.
ReplyDeleteThis is skewing a little off topic, but I want to share. I got Weekly Reader books when I was a kid. One of the first books was about a puppy. I was already a big dog person, even though I wasn't allowed to have a dog for several more years.
For some reason, my mother hid the book from me and canceled my book subscription. She didn't hide the book well, and I kept finding it because I loved it so much. Much later in life, I realized it showed the puppy being born rather correctly-ish. My mother apparently was appalled by that and didn't want me to be aware of what is honestly a fact of life. I remember seeing it as a five-year-old, and accepting it without any problem. She was the one with the problem(s).
Looking back, her hysteria caused me to lose my favorite book at that time, to miss out on learning an important facet of life, and because she canceled my subscription, probably a lot of other great books.
Please don't overprotect Lulu like my mother did me. :)
I won't overprotect Lulu...but I WILL try to instill in her the message that it is not polite to fake befriend creatures you intend to kill in the interval before you viciously kill them. :)
ReplyDeleteYep. Big difference between pets and someday-dinner. Growing up around farms, I had no problem with seeing the cows that would turn into hamburger later on; I did have major problems when my friends would pull a package of hamburger out of the freezer and say "Oh, this is Evan - nice cow, GOOD meat!" That always struck me as creepily disturbing. Don't name the animals that are intended for the butcher.
ReplyDeleteJ and I buy all of our meat from a farm, and twice a year they have an event where you can come and "Meet the Animals." Um....no thank you. I don't want to go pet my hamburger and pose for pictures with it. BECAUSE THAT'S CREEPY.
ReplyDeleteI just can't get over that Turkey's face in the page where they are all sitting together. Mrs. G goes out with a hatchet...and then invites him in for supper? He looks like Isaac after he came down the mountain with Abraham.
ReplyDeleteCath: I totally agree with you on the "Meet the Animals" I don't get why people would want to do that. I remember someone once telling me that they felt better about eating meat because of that...I still can't figure out HOW that would make the feel better!?!?
ReplyDeleteAs for the book, when was this published? I'm just curious. I'm glad it has a happy(-ish?) ending though. I'd love to read the fan-fic. I really think you should publish it on here. :D
D- it was published in 1973. Which explains all the brown and orange, I guess.
ReplyDeleteGotcha! That would explain it.
ReplyDeleteI forgot to mention that I loved the bit where you described her as a "Depression era 99-percenter." Good call! :)
I'm laughing out loud with this post! (Seriously - the cats are staring at me now.)
ReplyDeleteA book to check out is The Plump and Perky Turkey (sorry - don't know the author) where the turkeys are all to clever to end up on the table. My sister's kids (and my brother-in-law) love it. Almost as much as they love devouring the plump and perky turkey that my sister serves every Thanksgiving!
This was hilarious … welcome to the dark side of children's literature where everything isn't so rosy and happy!!! If you haven't already, check out "Love You Forever" by Robert Munsch -- one of the creepiest, f*$ed up kids books I've ever read. Here is my review if you want to see what I thought of it: http://www.lifewithbooks.com/2010/02/reading-with-the-little-one-love-you-forever-by-robert-munsch/
ReplyDeleteJenners, I remember that review well! You're right: that book is SO FUCKED UP.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite animal story revelation comes from Sideways Stories from Wayside School: in the Dana chapter, she complains that all the animal stories are super sad because one of the animal always dies at the end in a horrible manner. That sentiment is (sadly) too often true.
ReplyDeleteAnd this is what we read as kids. Charming.
Oh, my gosh...what a horrible children's book!! So glad I didn't come across that one when my boys were small.
ReplyDeleteGreat post, though - very funny!
Sue
Hahahaa! I would totally read that revenge fic. ;D
ReplyDeleteLaughed at your review, thanks! I don't remember books scarring me too much as a little kid - I think kids don't always see the implications that adults do. Films were better at imprinting sad/scary scenes in my mind. There was a scene in one of the Secret Garden film versions where Mary's father collapses of disease while hosting a fancy dinner. My friend told me she was a preteen before she realized her parents had always skipped that scene when she was watching it. As a kid, I kind of found the scene deliciously scary.
ReplyDelete