Happy families are all alike.

Beyond (Straight and Gay) Marriage: Valuing All Families under the Law

Nancy D. Polikoff*

In the late 1980s, two popular articles emerged: one, by Tom Stoddard, argued that in order to obtain equal treatment under the law, gay people should seek the right to marry. A companion piece, by Paula Ettelbrick, wondered why anyone would think of the flawed, traditional institution of marriage as a path to liberation? I read both articles in my Sexuality and the Law seminar this past semester, and found them both compelling, but it was the Ettelbrick article that most captured my interest. Of course the gay rights movement should focus on gay marriage, I thought before, but after our class discussion of the two articles, I suddenly wasn't so sure that same-sex marriage would solve the problems faced by gay families.

Beyond (Straight and Gay) Marriage takes up where Ettelbrick leaves off. Nancy Polikoff (my Sexuality and the Law professor) argues that a better way to protect same-sex couples is to ensure that wide and diverse forms of nontraditional families are protected under the law. This would include extending state recognition to both different- and same-sex living arrangements that fall outside the scope of marriage. Polikoff makes the case that a same-sex couple should not have to marry to access traditional spousal benefits; that a nonconjugal family consisting of siblings or friends living together in a caretaker relationship is just as much a family as Ward and June Cleaver, Wally and the Beav.



This is heavy stuff, right? The good news is that you don't have to be a law student to wade through it. Polikoff's writing is clear, and concise: she outlines the history, the problem, and practical solutions in a way that never feels like a textbook. Which in itself is admirable: we all know that legal writing is not necessarily the most readable thing in the world. But Polikoff manages to pack a substantial punch of information into each sentence without leaving you feeling swamped by it.

And Polikoff is the perfect person to write this book. Not only in terms of her expertise (Family law background! Decades of teaching!) but also in terms of her passion for the issue. Moving the focus of the gay rights movement from marriage has never been a popular idea. You need a certain confidence to pull it off. And Professor Polikoff has that.

I know that not all of my readers will agree with the topic of this book. Nonetheless, I still feel as though this is a highly-relevant--and highly interesting--read. One of the most pressing issues in the American political climate is the issue of gay marriage, and nobody ever died from being too educated. (Except for that one dude who choked on his Word-a-Day calendar. Ba-dum-dum!) And it's nice, from time to time, to have someone push against the foundations of our beliefs, to test for weak places, and to show us where we need to shore our arguments.

The best books are the ones that stay with you, that teach you to look at the world in a different way. At the very least, Beyond (Straight and Gay) Marriage has given me food for thought. More than that, it has provided me a new and enduring framework through which to view the marriage equality movement.

Rating: 5 of 5 stars

*In case anybody from the Washington College of Law Honor Committee is reading this, I waited to get my grade from Professor Polikoff's class before posting this review. No conflict of interest here! Just run of the mill brown-nosery.